This episode of “Bible Time & Worship” is something different as I shared a bit of my past in hopes that it would help my children and whoever else hears this message in their future. Thank you for praying for me and what I would share each day. Last night I had a dream that came out of nowhere, but not completely- let me explain. I edit what I am saying in the video and even here as I’m not sure who will come across this message. But I want to say just enough that you understand what I am saying but not so much that the point is missed. You’ll have to watch the video to get all of the message but here are a part of it here below. As always, reach out if you have any questions or comments. God bless you.
Before we got married I was -what? (Me talking with my kids)
An unbeliever?
No. Well…no that’s actually not true. I was a believer (of Jesus) before we got married but I wasn’t living like one.
Before we got married – I was SINGLE!
OBVIOUSLY!!! They laughed.
I wasn’t married and as far as I was concerned at that time, that meant that I lived life however I wanted to. That is not what I would advise you to do though.
But you did that.
Yes. Right. I did that and I’m going to tell you some more things that I did that I hope you won’t repeat. You won’t have to go through the same things to learn from my mistakes.
Watch the video to see this conversation and confession with and to my kids and to you…

I know that I was wrong for doing the things that I have done. These people and their families may run into me and see me. My past doesn’t go away. If today I was confronted by those I hurt in the past, even indirectly hurt in the past, words would not be able to erase the fact that I was wrong. I have made some very poor choices in my life.
Romans 3:23 No one is perfect
‘for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. ‘ Romans 3:23-25 https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ROM.3.23-25
You don’t have to clean yourself up to be loved by God. WHILE we were still sinning, Christ died for me and for you. Why does that matter? Because the punishment for all sin and any sin is death. But JESUS took my place. THIS IS THE GOOD NEWS. On the outside, I was an excellent Soldier. I had all the rank and all the awards. I could do the job and I did it very well but my private life was in shambles. No one really knew unless they paid very close attention. There were people, I’m sure, praying for me at that time in my life. And for that, I am so thankful.
Romans 5:8 One of my favorite verses in the Bible
‘For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. ‘ Romans 5:6-11 https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ROM.5.6-11
I look at people who look at me. I think that you think that I don’t have any struggles. I do struggle; I have worries. I worry about falling back into sin. It is so easy to stay in that pit or to go back to what you know. I do NOT want to go there. I do not want to mess up what I have been given. I have to spend time with God. I have to put myself in an environment where I’m around people who pursue God. I do that- because I have to. I don’t know what things YOU struggle with, yours might be different than mine. But over time I have learned to care more about what God, my creator, says about me verses what I think other people say about me. He is the one I choose to follow. He is the one I ultimately answer to. Also, when I think about how changed I am today (because I KNOW who I used to be)… it is amazing. God gets all the glory. The more I learn and understand about God, what He has done and who He really is, the more I am in awe of His majesty. No one else nor nothing else deserves our praise and honor like God. I try to share my love for God with others that they may investigate this Truth for themselves. I know when they do, they will be changed.
There is a war going on here. This time here that we are in is important. There is a spiritual battle going on all around us. There are things happening all around us that we cannot see. And I was reminded last night through my dream that the past haunts you sometimes. But I don’t live there. I know that I am changed and I am made new through Jesus. I hold onto that. How can I keep bringing up my past when Jesus says that he has cast it away once we have chosen to trust in Him? I have to look in the Word to see, well what does God say about me and dwell in that. I let that be what is going on and what I focus on in my mind. The faith that you see that I have is a choice for me to focus on what God has said. It is a matter of life and death for me. Not just for me, but also for my family’s legacy.
May we be a people that would trust in God.
As a mom and as a parent I have the opportunity to help shape your life. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t have to make tough choices and decisions in life like what you do. When I was growing up my parents were divorced and so I grew up not knowing my mom because I was raised by my grandma and my aunt. I was loved, however, I kept trying to figure out, ‘Who am I‘? I looked everywhere for the answer growing up. I believe we will never be satisfied until we find our Maker. You will have difficulties in life… I hope that as you grow our relationship is closer than it was between me and my birth parents. I hope that you use me as a resource for some of the decisions that you make. I hope that you will come to know God and include in him in your life because God loves you even more than I do.
God cares about your day to day choices, behaviors and your character too. I separated that from my day to day choices. God cares about ALL aspects of our lives. He cares about our eternity and our day to day now. He cares about it all. I pray for your future and for your now. Cause honestly if there are some things that you are involved in that you don’t want me to know, I might not know. But God will know. And he provides a way to make it right. But you cannot do it on your own. Only through Jesus. True change starts with Jesus.
No one is perfect, no not one. It really is true. There is not a person that you will meet that has not sinned. We all have a need for God. That includes me too. That’s why I love him so much and that is why I need him in my life. I can not save myself. I am already messed up. I may have people look at me and they think all these great things about me. But I know what I have done and I know the thoughts that go on inside my head and in my heart. No one is so far gone that they are beyond the help and the hope that Jesus provides. May we align all aspects of our lives to live His way. Thank God I am set free from my sin and redeemed through Christ.
Songs:
We sang “Blessed Assurance – hymn” and “Your Love Never Fails – Chris McClarney / Anthony Skinner“
‘”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ‘ John 3:16 https://my.bible.com/bible/59/JHN.3.16
He came into the world so that all could receive the free gift of salvation that He provides.
His offer still stands while you have breath on this earth but SINCE we don’t know how long we have there is no better day than today to go to God.
Romans 8:31-39 God is for us
‘What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. ‘ Romans 8:31-39 https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ROM.8.31-39
Romans 8:28-35,
‘And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ‘ Romans 8:28-35 https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ROM.8.28-35
Romans 8:35, 37-39
‘Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. ‘ Romans 8:35,37-39 https://my.bible.com/bible/59/ROM.8.35,37-39
Thank you SO MUCH for joining in praying for us! I pray this is helpful for you and I hope you will join in with me M – F 12noon DAEGU time on FB live. Join me each day (we are on restricted gathering directives per the @usagdaegu_area4 leadership team) from #Daegu as we wait on news regarding the #coronavírus #covid19 for a time of #biblestudy and #worship. I #pray that it #encouragesomeone to #trust in the Lord. 🥰🥰🥰 We will simply have a time each day to meet before the Lord together from wherever you are. I will be on at noon (Daegu, Korea time) each (school) day. If you cannot meet with me then, please pray for me and leave me a message whenever you tune in and share how this is helpful for you. I appreciate it.
#homeworship #thankful #familyBiblestudy #Killthevirus #Godisbiggerthanxyz #redeemed #blessedassurance #yourloveneverfails #romans58 #sin #discipleship
Looking for a Bible Study to watch and consider during this time? Try these: https://sejanashines.com/2020/03/07/bible-time-worship-every-episode-summary/