I gave my 11th grader 2 twenties when he went inside for a haircut. While he was getting his hair washed, he said a “homeless man” came in and asked if he could do some work. The owner of the shop said, “no.” Then my son recalls that the man then asked for money. Again the owner said no. Then the man gets angry and said, “I see you looking at me with hatred in your eyes.” The owner was having a hard time getting him to leave and later shared with my son that when he drove up to his shop a couple of weeks ago he saw that same man “pissing on the tree” and turned to say “what the F*** are you looking at?” while continuing to pee on the tree. The owner also added that at that time, “a woman was with him and she looked like she was on meth.”
I listen and ask a few questions and we dialogue about homelessness.
My son says, “I was wondering if you were okay out here cause I couldn’t see the guy and he sounded pretty angry.” I tell my son I recalled seeing a guy on a bicycle go into the shop as I waited in the car, but he didn’t say anything to me.
Then we roll out to @heb and I realize, wait, where’s my change?
My son says there is none. “I gave it all to the owner.”
“But why? How much was the haircut?”
“He said it was $20.”
“Then why did you give him $40?”
“Well, he has to put up with people like that coming into his business…so I gave him the extra $20 and I was prepared to tell you to take it out of my account if you wanted it back.”
I have lots of thoughts.
I don’t want to squelch my son’s heart to show support. However, I shared we don’t know the story of the man asking for work and money either. Why didn’t the owner say, “hey, don’t do that here- come inside and use the bathroom.” But then, we don’t want to share the bathroom. It’s not easy. And probably scary if you’re alone. I don’t know how best to respond when I wasn’t there but to listen &ask questions.
What are we protecting? Who do we value?
I asked about my change but what I really want is to help shape a son (and myself) as people who consider both the have and have-nots as equal in value, dignity, and respect. Aren’t we all humans trying to make it in this world?
EDITED TO ADD: After talking with my son again tonight about this incident and many other issues and concerns in our nation and world today- I thought I should come back here and clarify. My son asked me, “What does being human mean?” I realized as I answered, that the the shop owner was being human when “he grabbed a pair of scissors and tried to make himself look bigger” (according to my son) in response to the unwanted man that came into his shop. From the shop owner’s perspective, he was trying to protect himself and his customer, as well as his property. But the presumably homeless man who came in was also ‘being human‘ when he said, “I see you looking at me with hatred in your eyes!” So, with both persons ‘being human’ in their own responses, what I meant was I hoped that we would be willing to treat each other with a bit more space and compassion. I recognize that it’s not a requirement and many some people or many people don’t want to do that. Why should they do that? I can’t tell others what to do so I can’t put my ‘should’s on anyone. I guess, I just hope for better for each of us and from each of us. I choose to respond to others with compassion and empathy. I choose to reflect on my interactions with others that come into my path and examine if I shared what I had to meet the person before me with equal dignity and respect and value as I give myself and others. That’s what I meant by being human to another human (and any human).
What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them on any part of this story- there’s a lot in here we could discuss!
Blessings and peace to you,
Sejana
Posted @sejanashines on Instagram/Facebook
#helpingothers
#parentinglife #question #homelessness #handouts #tips #reflections
Share your comment