It’s time to share my latest sermon, preached the Sunday that kicked off my birth week. Impact Church in East Temple’s lead pastor, Pastor Roy, invited me to preach via email when I was away in Brownsville serving on the border. I was so excited to receive this invitation as it was my very first invite that came from my own work and connections (and not through my seminary’s pulpit supply requests). We met back in early February when I was asked to join in on a podcast they were recording at Feed My Sheep. (watch here) I was volunteering there learning about the different areas in their ministry for my hands on assignment for the Christian Community Development (CCD) intensive course I had taken earlier in January with Pastor Dr. Jimmy Dorrel of Mission Waco & Church Under the Bridge. (Pics here)

Because this was my first unsolicited invitation to preach, I invited everyone to pray for me and to come on out if they were local. My family and some dear friends showed up. It really meant so much for me that they came and two of them literally sat behind me (us) which had me tearfully realizing, they really do literally have my back. (Growing a real friend group has also been a prayer journey as well! #grateful4friends)

So, it’s been over 2 years since I’ve preached because I stopped when I was going through the Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program in the hospital. I’m not sure if I have shared that with you all here on my blog yet. (First unit CPE graduation comments here.) (So much has been happening! If you want to stay more updated, I’d say follow me on Instagram or FB @ sejanashines for the most updated information.) But I knew I wanted to get back into preaching again because I felt like it would be different from all the self-work and ministry I’ve done in my chaplaincy journey throughout this time. My personal prayer request for myself for that Sunday was that I would be more of myself in the pulpit and I believe I was. I think me being me was perfect for this congregation and I was affirmed by several others in this role.

I’m sharing this semon today along with the backstory because well, earlier today I met with Pastor Roy and their worship leader for feedback on my sermon. You see, I had some other major things going on and also traveled out of state for several days so we weren’t able to get together right away. But we met today and rewatched my sermon together.   (Note: I tried to rewatch my sermon alone yesterday at home and I quit after only 8 minutes. All I could see and hear was how much I was doing wrong and I felt shame.) But today, we watched the sermon together (I did not tell them anything other than I didn’t get through the sermon) and I felt good. I felt grace and compassion for this Sejana who was doing her thing. I was proud of this Sejana. And most importantly to me, I felt fully supported by these two Christian men in ministry as we watched together and talked together about my work.  Pastor Roy can ask some pretty insightful open-ended and curious questions sometimes and so he asked me how I felt about my sermon and gave me space to share what I thought was good about it. Where did I feel like I was most ‘me’? They both shared what they thought (they both had notes written down/typed out from earlier) and offered their perspectives and some suggestions to consider so that I might improve. #gratefultobesupported

I’m sharing all of this specically for those of you who have been praying for support, praying for a tribe and for your people, praying for a ‘fit’ – I am here to tell you that sincerely and truly God sees and God knows what it is that you need and are longing for. God really does give us what we need.

In due time, yes, (cause many times we be waiting and waiting and wondering HOW LONG OH LORD?!?) but hang in there and hold on. It is not easy (or at least it hasn’t been for me). This journey, for me, in being a minority race woman in ministry who came from a conservative and perhaps fundamental background has been a rollercoaster and it has taken me to many-a-church all over Central Texas. My journey isn’t at all over yet but I am refreshed in being reminded through this preaching invitation and experience that God definitely knows all and is really working it out – for real y’all. God knows all things. There is indeed something happening – even in the waiting.

So watch the sermon. All I wrote above isn’t in there. That’s just another encounter under my belt in which I am reminded that God sees me. I know that God sees you too. I felt it was time to share this reminder with you all today. I hope it blesses and encourages you, wherever you are and in whatever you are going through.

Grace and peace,

Sejana

Extras:

• Previous sermons (from over 2 years ago) here.
• Feed My Sheep podcast episode experience when I met Pastor Roy for the first time here.
• Christian Community Development class that required us to find a place to serve. I chose Feed My Sheep because it’s in my city and I heard great things about the organization and wanted to get to know them better. Social media post about that here.